Anger Management Tips
Anger is a normal and even healthy emotion — but it's important to deal with it in a positive way.
Uncontrolled anger can take
a toll on both your health and your relationships.
1. Think before you speak
In
the heat of the moment, it's easy to say something you'll later regret.
Take a few moments to collect your thoughts before saying anything —
and allow others involved in the situation to do the same.
2. Once you're calm, express your anger
As
soon as you're thinking clearly, express your frustration in an
assertive but nonconfrontational way. State your concerns and needs
clearly and directly, without hurting others or trying to control them.
3. Get some exercise
Physical
activity can help reduce stress that can cause you to become angry. If
you feel your anger escalating, go for a brisk walk or run, or spend
some time doing other enjoyable physical activities.
4. Take a timeout
Timeouts
aren't just for kids. Give yourself short breaks during times of the
day that tend to be stressful. A few moments of quiet time might help
you feel better prepared to handle what's ahead without getting
irritated or angry.
5. Identify possible solutions
Instead
of focusing on what made you mad, work on resolving the issue at hand.
Does your child's messy room drive you crazy? Close the door. Is your
partner late for dinner every night? Schedule meals later in the evening
— or agree to eat on your own a few times a week. Remind yourself that
anger won't fix anything and might only make it worse.
6. Stick with 'I' statements
To
avoid criticizing or placing blame — which might only increase tension —
use "I" statements to describe the problem. Be respectful and specific.
For example, say, "I'm upset that you left the table without offering
to help with the dishes" instead of "You never do any housework."
7. Don't hold a grudge
Forgiveness
is a powerful tool. If you allow anger and other negative feelings to
crowd out positive feelings, you might find yourself swallowed up by
your own bitterness or sense of injustice. But if you can forgive
someone who angered you, you might both learn from the situation and
strengthen your relationship.
8. Use humor to release tension
Lightening
up can help diffuse tension. Use humor to help you face what's making
you angry and, possibly, any unrealistic expectations you have for how
things should go. Avoid sarcasm, though — it can hurt feelings and make
things worse.
9. Practice relaxation skills
When
your temper flares, put relaxation skills to work. Practice
deep-breathing exercises, imagine a relaxing scene, or repeat a calming
word or phrase, such as "Take it easy." You might also listen to music,
write in a journal or do a few yoga poses — whatever it takes to
encourage relaxation.
10. Know when to seek help
Learning
to control anger is a challenge for everyone at times. Seek help for
anger issues if your anger seems out of control, causes you to do things
you regret or hurts those around you.
When you have done all, seek God in PRAYER
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