The biggest Valentine’s Day myths of all Time

Many out there believed on so much myth regarding Valentine's Day but it will interest to know that these things aren't true.

Myth: Valentine’s Day was named after St. Valentine, the Roman saint of courtly love.

Fact: You don’t need love to have a good time. You don’t even need friends.

Myth: A St. Valentine’s key is a small metal token given in some European countries as both a romantic symbol and a charm to ward off epilepsy.

Fact: Epilepsy can be treated with medication, unlike being in love, which is often fatal.

Myth: Ancient Romans practiced Lupercalia, a fertility rite involving the whipping of women with the raw hides of sacrificed animals.

Fact: Lupercalia is still practiced today, figuratively, through the voluntary act of online dating.

Myth: Cupid is often portrayed as the infant son of the love goddess Venus and Mars, the god of war.

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Fact: It is well known that immunity against Cupid’s arrows of desire can be attained by wearing a Bluetooth earpiece and Crocs in public.

Myth: In some traditions, Valentine’s Day is associated with the beginning of spring.

Fact: Spring is probably not going to come this year.

Myth: A little under half of all American couples choose not to celebrate Valentine’s Day.

Fact: A little under half of American men choose not to celebrate Valentine’s Day, because your anniversary was just a couple of months ago, and aren’t they basically the same thing?

Myth: There were multiple St. Valentines recognized by early Christian churches.

Fact: All St. Valentines represent one disappointing person from your childhood whom you repeatedly fall in and out of love with, because like love, the cycle of dysfunction lives on forever.

Myth: The heart symbol, long used to represent love and emotion, has only a vague resemblance to an actual human heart.

Fact: The first person to use the heart as a symbol may have had some questionable hobbies and possibly astigmatism.

Myth: It is acceptable not to acknowledge your mother on Valentine’s Day.

Fact: No, really. It’s fine. Your father probably won’t acknowledge her either, so she’ll just see you next time your washing machine is broken. It’s not like she gave birth to you or anything.

Sarah Hutto (@huttopian) is a writer whose work has appeared in The New Yorker, The Washington Post and McSweeney’s.